From the Desk of Keith Hafner

How to Teach Disrespect

Disrespect usually begins at a very young age, with disrespectful verbal behavior.

Caleb began, at age three, to say “No!” to his mother when she asked him to do something.

His Mom, Julie, would then begin trying to persuade Caleb to do what she wanted. She would attempt to reason with him. When that didn’t work, she began to revise her request, looking for something that Caleb would agree to.

“Caleb, pick up your toys now, we have to go.”

“No!”

“Caleb, we’ve got to get groceries, and be back by seven o’clock. Please get ready.”

“I don’t want to go. I want to finish my TV show.”

“Come on, honey!”

“NO!”

“Well, just get your jacket on, and let’s go, Okay? We can pick up the toys later.”

“I want to stay and watch my show.”

“Okay, you’ve got 15 minutes, then we have to go, okay?” Julie pleaded.

Of course, by now, Caleb has gained the upper hand. Unless Julie changes her approach, Caleb’s respect for her authority, and his behavior, will continue to disintegrate.

Now, let me ask you.

Was Caleb disrespectful by nature? Or, was he TAUGHT to be disrespectful?

Even at age three, Caleb sensed weakness in his mom. She would negotiate with him — try to persuade him. Even though he was too young to understand why he was behaving the way that he was, he could not have any respect for his mom.

Remember, he is only three years old!

When I was a kid, I was not allowed to say “No” to my parents. No disrespect was tolerated. Maybe that’s how you were raised, too.

Here’s what Julie should have done, right from the beginning, and what she should still do. When she hears that “No!” from Caleb, she should say, “Young man, you march right in there and do as you are told!”

No negotiating. No compromising. No persuasion. Just simple enforcement of authority.