From the Desk of Keith Hafner

Ten Things Your Child Needs to Know
…in order to be healthy, happy, and confident!

1.  You will never leave or abandon them.  Sometimes children are afraid that their parent’s love is conditional.  They fear that if they make a mistake, or get into trouble, they risk losing their parents love.    Constantly reassure your child that you will always love them, and be there for them…no matter what.  Say to them, “I’m on your side!”

2.  Family will always be more important than friends.  As kids get older, friends become more and more important. In some ways, this is healthy.  Sometimes, though, kids have trouble when they start to think  their friends are more important than their family.  Friends are great, especially when you have a solid family foundation.  Beginning when your children are very small, build a strong sense of loyalty to your family.  Make being part of your family something to be proud of!

3.  It doesn’t matter what other people say, think, or do. Your family will be following it’s own standards.  You won’t be swayed by what other families are saying, thinking, or doing.  Explain to your child, “There will be LOTS of things that other people are doing — that we won’t be doing.  There will also be lots of things that other people aren’t doing that we will be doing.  We do things differently in our family.  Get used to it!”

4.  Always do what is right – no matter what.  Sometimes doing the right thing is hard.  Help your child to understand that you can never go wrong by doing the right thing.  Even if doing the right thing is hard, or doesn’t seem like it will produce the right results…doing the right thing always wins in the end.

5.  The future is bright.  Paint a bright future for your child.  Every possibility is open.    Friends, good health, a nice home, a loving spouse, a fine family, exciting adventures…these are in the future of your child!  Build your child’s positive expectancy and hope for the future by regularly reinforcing this image!

6.  Character counts…not appearances.  Train your child to value and pursue honesty, courage, integrity, and loyalty in their own character.  Help your child to also develop an awareness of these character skills in other people.  Sometimes this means looking below the surface. Teach your child that appearances can be deceiving.  An attractive outward appearance is no guarantee of a strong character.

7.  Privileges are not rights…they must be earned.  Problems occur when children begin to think that certain privileges have become their rights.    Help your child to understand that social activities, the ability to make some of their own decisions, allowances, and other privileges need to be earned by good behavior, and the effective handling of responsibility.

8.  You, as the parent, have an obligation to act in the child’s best interest.  Make it clear that you don’t mind making the “tough call.”  If your child says,  “All the other parents are letting their kids do it!” — you will say, “Honey, it’s my job to do what I think is right for you.  I take that responsibility very seriously.  If my decisions aren’t popular among your friends, or they cause you to be mad at me…I can live with that!”

9.  Things take time.  Be patient.  The world gives up its rewards slowly…to those who show dedicated, consistent effort and focus.  Often, when people quit, they quit right when they are on the verge of a big breakthrough.

10.  The world is a place of abundance.  There is enough happiness, love, opportunity, health, and money for everybody.  People who experience scarcity are people who believe in scarcity.  People who believe in abundance will find it!

Bonus Idea:

11.   Everything counts.     Diligence counts.  Sloppiness counts.  Good manners count.  Rude behavior counts.  Honesty counts.  So does dishonesty.  Everything comes out sooner or later.  Do a good deed, and sooner or later, something good comes back to you.  Do a bad deed, and even if nobody knows what you did, sooner or later some bad result comes back to you.  Sometimes the results, good or bad, take a period of time to come back around.  Don’t let your child be fooled!  Everything counts!