From the Desk of Keith Hafner

Be Careful with These Two Words

When dealing with kids (or really anybody, for that matter…read: spouse), be careful how you use the words ALWAYS and NEVER.

Have you ever had anybody, while upset with you, say, “You know you ALWAYS (leave your sock on the floor; forget my birthday; are crabby when you get home…)

or…

“You NEVER (appreciate what I do;  include me in your plans; help with the chores)…

This kind of hyperbole creates a defensive reaction in the person you are talking to.  They immediately think (or say), “That’s not true!  Don’t you remember when I…”

And — you’ve got an adversarial situation on your hands.  With your exaggeration, you’ve made it difficult for them do focus on or discuss the point you are trying to make.