When dealing with kids (or really anybody, for that matter…read: spouse), be careful how you use the words ALWAYS and NEVER.

  Have you ever had anybody, while upset with you, say, “You know you ALWAYS (leave your sock on the floor; forget my birthday; are crabby when you get home…)

or…

“You NEVER (appreciate what I do;  include me in your plans; help with the chores)…

  This kind of hyperbole creates a defensive reaction in the person you are talking to.  They immediately think (or say), “That’s not true!  Don’t you remember when I…”

   And — you’ve got an adversarial situation on your hands.  With your exaggeration, you’ve made it difficult for them do focus on or discuss the point you are trying to make.

  Instead, substitute words like “sometimes” and “occasionally” as in:  “Michael, SOMETIMES when I ask you to do something…”

  That trouble happens because these are very powerful words.

  However, when handled with great care, these two words can have a powerful impact for good.

  Consider:

   “I will ALWAYS be there for you!”

   or

  “I will NEVER leave you or forsake you!”